i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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