I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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