How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
