I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
