wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
