Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
