Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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