i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We have started to decorate penises.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
