She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
