Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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