Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
operation harelip BJ is a go
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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