I am spending my child support on dildos
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
