i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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