got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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