if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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