last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
