We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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