Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
