these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
