i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
