I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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