I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
