it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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