i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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