So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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