Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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