We should be called the Road Head Warriors
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
