if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
