Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
