Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
