I need help removing her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
