I hate all girls vehemently.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The uberlube is also flammable
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
