Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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