No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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