Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
