after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
