If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
