and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
