i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
