I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
