The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
