so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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