i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
