Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
