i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
