I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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