I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
