So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
