Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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