my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
high people should be assigned attendants
pop tarts are not kleenex
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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