so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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