His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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