i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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