I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
