Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
