i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
