My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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