She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
try to milk me bitch
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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