zippers are such a cool invention
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
