you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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