I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
